In The Arms Of An Angel

 

Thanksgiving.

A day everyone looks forward to, right? Tons of food, quality family time, a day where diets don’t exist and memories are created.

This post isn’t to ruin your happy-day…But tonight when you get into your bed.. And when you’re reminescing about all that happened today… I want you to take a moment to think of the rest of the world. Because somewhere out there, there was a little girl who didn’t have a mom or a dad to cook dinner for their family. There was an infant boy who doesn’t know what it’s like to watch his mommy smile with joy. A teen who spent the night searching for something to bring home to his widowed mom and little siblings for today’s meal. There are homeless children who have spent the day gnawing on the same chicken bone they’ve had for the past two weeks, because they can’t find anything else to eat. While you were socializing, indulging in food, and having another fantastic holiday…there were countless women, children, men..Thousands of people. Humans. People, like me and you out there who didn’t get a big thanksgiving dinner. Who has never even seen more than a single serving of food on their tables.

Think about all those families that didn’t receive a food basket, the single mom who had to pay the bills instead of buy their children a turkey. And the widow who had her husband last Thanksgiving, but this year can’t find anything to be thankful for. And the little girl who doesn’t understand what her mommy means when she says that her Daddy isn’t coming home. Or on another note, an abusive father who only battered his family instead of providing a warm, loving thanksgiving environment. Or the daughter who spent her day in her room avoiding her drunken dad, or the little boy who played with his toys all day while his parents argued. From Africa, to Lebanon, Australia and back to America, though you had a wonderful day…There were millions who didn’t. Its reality.

 So before you drift to sleep, and before you say “amen”…Include in your prayer the hungry, the hurt, the lost, the poor. For the people who may not survive tonight, Ask Jesus to provide for them an angel to hold them; to comfort them; to love them. Pray for strength for the mother who sits aside her dying childs bed, hoping for a cure for cancer. Whisper a prayer for the millions of people in this world who don’t know what it’s like to be loved by a Savior and blessed by a God. Because if those children are left alone tonight, if those widows go one more night alone, if those fathers pick up another forty once, they may not be here tomorrow. They are only alive now, because they are in the arms of an angel. Pray that they find some kind of comfort there, to make it through tonight. And you.... you are only alive now…because of the angel that watches over you.

So as you give thanks for all you have, pray for those who have nothing. And the next time you’re rolling in the joy of all you have, stop and think of what it would be like if you didn’t have anything. Learn to appreciate what you have for the right reasons. Be thankful not because you have a table full of food, but because you aren’t searching dumpsters for leftover food. Be thankful not because you have a family who loves you, but because you are not alone, trying to survive on the streets. And on this night, after you’ve thought about all this…pray that you too, are in the safe and secure arms of an angel as you sleep in your bed; which so many do not have.

And may you then have a true, blessed Thanksgiving night.

The Demon Hand

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)

Everyone knows the story of Job, do we not? Job had a pure heart, and faithfully loved and served God. Then, came along Satan, who said Job only did this because of all God has given him. That if God let him take it all away, he would then curse and condemn the Lord. God then let Satan do as he pleased on one condition; that he not take the life of Job. So, Job was then in the hand of the devil. Satan left the Lord, and brought upon many trials to Job. First, Satan had his livestock and animals killed, then his servants, and then his children killed. That was only the first test. Job was put through pure torture, from suffering with deep boils on his skin, to loosing all of his money, land and family. Would you be able to stay standing? After all this? I might have made it to the part where the servants were killed. But my family…I couldn’t bear loosing them. Yet though he lost everything but his life; he still held on to the hand of God. Though he brutally suffered from the hand of a demon; he never let go of the hand of God. God richly blessed Job after all his suffering. Could you pass the test from the demon hand?

The truth is; every one of us fail that test at one point. Some everyday; others only when things go really bad. But, the truth also is; we don’t have to fail. We have the choice to pass. Job had the choice to continue thanking God; even though he barely had anything to thank him for. If Job can, why can’t we?

When you’re troubled, when you’re knocked down…when you’re broken and when you’re hurt…Which hand do you reach for? The giving up and giving in hand of the demon? Or the hope and healing hand of God? The sad part is; most of us give up. We cry, and we cry…we vent, we get depressed. We hate life; and everything in it. We just can’t understand why he cheated; why she lied; why someone you loved just had to die of cancer. We can’t comprehend why someone would steal your car; rob the homeless; or kill a stranger.  We can’t grasp why a mother would leave her newborn in a trash can; or why some guy would kidnap a five year old; kill her and bury her deep in the woods for the mother to never find her. The question is always “why”? Then once we ask that question…and we don’t have an answer…we go into denial.

There are five stages of grief, hurt, loss and pain. The first is denial and isolation. We don’t get the “why”…and therefore we say there’s no way that happend…No way its possible. But then reality sets in. Thats when you move into the second stage.

Anger: When something bad happens to us, we’re angry. Some people aren’t necessarily mad at someone or something, but are just angry. Others can be mad at the person who hurt them; the person who died and left them alone; or even angry at the world; or God, for letting it happen.

Once we’re done blaming God…we move to the next stage: bargaining. If it’s something huge like a death or loss; we start to plead and ask God to take away the pain. Sometimes we even offer deals; “I’ll do this for you, Lord, if you take away my pain”. Or; if it’s a broken relationship or marriage, we might even find ourselves on our knees bargaining with our ex-significant other. Then; once we’ve pleaded all we could…Reality knocks on the door once again.

Depression: the fourth stage of grief; is a stage of complete hopelessness and unhappiness. There’s nothing left to keep us going. It’s a time where we see no point in life, or in living. We turn our backs against everyone; God; and the world. This can last a long time…trust me, I know. But; once it sets in some…

We finally accept. The last and final stage is when we accept what happened; and we get back on our feet and move on with our lives.

This process of grief happens to everyone; it’s science. It’s the length of time we lay in the demon’s hand; the length of time we let ourself suffer; and let the devil torture us. While God weeps with us, the devil only laughs. Do we really have to go through this process every time something happens to us? The answer is simple: No.

Not much of science can be defied; but this can. And even before the first process. Before we go into that denial; all we have to do is lift up our head and reach for God’s hand. Job still praised the Lord all through his suffering, never once broke contact with Him.

We have a whole book….hundreds of pages of endless promises God has given us. Yet we still fret, and we still hurt when something bad happens to us. No one said you can’t hurt. Hurting is apart of life; but we don’t have to suffer. Yes we will become weak, and we will fall…but we don’t have to give up.

‘ “I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor. Now I will rise up to rescue them, as they have longed for me to do.’ The Lord’s promises are pure, like silver refined in a furnace, purified seven times over.” ‘ (Psalm 12:5-6).

God is your lifeline. Always remember that. No matter what happens, what situation you are in…He’s always there. You’ve got two ways to go. Make a left and put yourself in the demon hand…or make a right and have yourself protected by the hand of God. Don’t put yourself through the stages and processes of grief. You may not ever come out of it. Some don’t. Talk to God, don’t keep it hidden and stashed away in your head. Thats only denial; and if you can’t get past the first stage; you may not make it to the last. If you never come to terms with it…you never heal. You always stay broken. Let God repair you, He wants to, and He’s waiting for you to take hold of His hand. Never give up; don’t run away from it. Just let it hit you, let it knock you down. When you’re down is when you’ve got a choice. Take God’s hand…Then just get back up and brush yourself off. You will  be okay.

Everyday holds a choice. Choose yours carefully.  It all comes down to the ultimate decision. Which hand will you choose?
                        

Go Light Your World

 

At night when it’s really late..and I finally decide to go to bed, I’ll walk upstairs into the dark hallway. I’m always carrying my cell phone, and I’ll flip it open or push a button to make the light come on. And, using my cell phone, I’ll navigate my way into my room and into my bed.

When I’m in my car, I do the same thing to find small things I’m looking for. My light in my once loved, now half working car doesn’t work, so I’m always fumbling in the dark. Thats only one of the dozens of things that doesn’t work in that car. But that’s beside the point.

On day’s its just my grandma home, she likes to sit in the dark and relax. I always ask her to turn the light on, or I do it myself…it’s annoying not being able to see.

And then there’s this song, called “Go Light Your World”.  If you want to listen to it, click the link at the bottom of this entry. It has such significant meaning. I’ve heard it a lot on the radio, and always loved the song. Listen to the words, read the lyrics. The inspiration in this song never really hit me until it played during a slide show at my old school, Mount Vernon Academy. As a mission-story, more like a missionary-inspirational slide show, the song played as slides of poor african children drifted across the screen. Children that were once lost, but now have been given the word of God. Mothers that were once fighting for their life, now living to fight for God. Seeing how touched these small villages were by the light of God, that song and that slide show…till this day…lies within my heart and mind as a small reminder that we are lighting the wrong areas of our life.

When its dark, we flip a light switch, open a cell phone, or find a flashlight. All so we can see, so we can find our way. Yes, enough about us, what about them? Everyone else out there? It’s almost selfish.  We light our way, and do things for benefit to our self. But what about the rest of the world? The people in other countries who don’t even know what a flashlight or cell phone is? Who’s going to light their way?

My point to all this is…we need to light more than our own path. Matthew 5:14 tells us that we are a light to the world. So why are we only using our light to find our own way through life? And yes, cell phones and flashlights can help us through our worldly dark times…But what happens when it’s more than a dark hallway, or broken lightbulb? Then what? Then..there’s only God. Psalm 27:1 tells us that God is light. So if God is light, and we are the light to the world, how will the world escape its darkness if we aren’t sharing our light? Lighting other people’s paths? There’s someone out there struggling to light their own path…some other way. Show them the right way.

You have a candle. And that’s your family out there. Your brothers..sisters…cousins..Go and seek out the dark places in their lives. Save them. Light them up…let them shine. And don’t let the devil blow your candle out.

In the name of Jesus, Go light your world.

                          

Click here to listen to “Go Light Your World”: Go Light Your World

Some Must Trust; While Some Must Weep

I’ve got a really good friend. I dont really know her…in fact…I know nothing about her. She just happens to work where I work. I can’t even really remember us first meeting. I just know we talk when we’re at work. And I swear…she acts like she’s known me for years. She trusts me, and just like were best friends…she hangs out with me, she does so much for me. She’s helped me, taken over shifts for me, even given me some shifts. And she’s even bought food for me. I’ve known her just a few months and she already treats me better than my friends I’ve known for years. I don’t get it really…but I’m very grateful to have a friend like her. I even wonder what it would be like if everyone were like that; or if I were like that. Would I just be hurt, and used? How is my most loyal best friend the friend I know the least?

This friend kind of reminds me of another friend I have.. This friend and I aren’t really good friends; I only know what I read in the Bible about Him…in fact we have never even met before. But He’s so nice to me. He gave his life for me, he’s so forgiving and loving. I trust Jesus, and I also trust my friend from work. She trusts me too…she even gave me her wallet one day. I don’t know anyone who would trust me that much. But when you think of it…we tend to trust the people we know the best the least, and the ones we just met…get our full trust. Why is that?

Some could say it’s an act of kindness..we give our trust to a new person we meet because they deserve it. Afterall, who is to judge someone they don’t know? One shopper where I work asked me to stay with her entire cart, and purse; wallet and all, while she go to the bathroom. Thats a lot of trust to have when it comes to someone you don’t know. But, faithfully, I stood by that cart for nearly ten minutes, feeling so proud to be trusted.

Is it carelessness thats leading to false “trust”? Or are people really trusting people they don’t know? I used to be a really trusting person, in fact I still am for the most part. What changed that was what they call a short-change artist, who betrayed my trust and gained sixty dollars from my register at work. After that; I trusted no one. But now..when I see all these other people trusting people with all their heart; I think about how we trust Jesus, even though we don’t see Him, or even know Him that well.  People are changing, people are trusting and breaking trust. Jesus trusted, Jesus died. We trust, and sometimes we are hurt. I’m just amazed that trust still exists in a world like this; and I’m thankful for friends and strangers who do trust.

 After all; trust is the only way to knowing a true person. While some trust and aren’t hurt, others trust and weep, and never trust again. When I think about trust, a lot has happened within the past year that has changed my whole view of the meaning of trust. But we can’t let one person destroy our trust, we have to treat everyone equally, and give them the same trust we give Jesus.

Goodbye To All That

I’ve been debating whether or not I should write this entry. But, I’m going to anyway. Maybe it will help someone, or let others understand.

One year ago today, October 4th, I lost someone I loved. Thought my world was over, and my life had come to an end. My closest friends walked this lonely road with me. I struggled for months to pick up the pieces, and move on. Instead of my world ending; though it felt it did; my life only became a battlefield. I found it hard to trust anyone, let alone my self. I tried my hardest to forget everything, when all that was doing was making it the center of focus. I lost my way; became weaker than ever. I eventually forced myself to fake a smile; a laugh, every day just to get people to stop feeling sorry for me and leave me alone. It was a nightmare I’ll never forget. Well, a year later…I’m proud to say that when all seems black…there’s always light. When all seems hopeless, there is hope. And when you feel weak, you can always find strength. A huge lesson well learned.

I’m not exactly sure how I made it past it all; but I do know that I relied on friends and prayer. And then it came to a point where I finally realized, I can decide my life. I can decide my mood, my day…my happiness. It was then that I found myself. No, it wasn’t easy, and yes it was a long road to recovery. But, look at me now. I’m so much happier, it doesn’t hurt anymore, and the story that I once lived through now makes more sense than ever. Once I was able to look at the bigger picture, it was much easier to recover. I realized what I learned. I will not make the same mistakes I did before, and now that I know what its like to be truly happy, I will never  again cause my heart so much misery. It made me stronger, and because of that experience in my life; I will not break the way I did then, and I won’t fall so hard. I learned the hard way to never let it get that far. And when I look back now, it doesn’t hurt. I just see a good friendship gone to waste, and nothing more. The only sad part was that I was so young and didn’t know. But; everyone has to learn eventually, as the saying goes. I just had to keep telling myself that I’d be okay. Tell yourself that enough, and you’ll eventually believe it.

So once I finally got myself back on my feet, I made a little rule for myself. I’m a picky person…sort of. Actually, I would call myself a true person. I made myself a time limit to be alone. I didn’t want to get involved with anyone else due to loneliness, desperation, or a rebound. I wanted to make sure I was totally over it, so that when I did get involved again, I could commit myself to them knowing that I want to be with them for a good reason, not because of my last breakup. So..days went by…weeks…months…And I kept setting time periods. The time would go by, and I’d test myself. I’d think about old memories, look at old pictures, read an old diary, and if I cried, I’d give myself a couple more weeks. Finally, I decided on October 4th being the day of freedom, since that marks a year since the breakup. If I could make it through that day okay, not crying over what happened on that day a year ago; then I was ready to move on. Well, I’m sooo happy to say that today has been awesome; my freedom begins here. I can now officially close this chapter of the book, turn to the next, and begin again, knowing that I knew the chapter well and wrote all I could. And I can’t tell you how awesome and great that feels. It was hard keeping myself from getting involved with other people. I had to turn the friend switch off. But luckily for me, my guy friends understood, and waited for me. Now the only problem is deciding which one I want! Haha. It’s like being on a long diet…then Easter rolling around and pigging out on the candy. Or like a birthday, or Christmas all over again. It feels great. Today; I embark on a new chapter. Unwritten pages; with a happiness meter that has soared through the roof. I can’t wait for what the future has for me. This has been a long destructive journey, but I rebuilt myself. I’m stronger now, wiser; not so fragile. And in my programming lies the words for next time: ”The Tower Is Tall, But the Fall Is Short”.

 And so I close this chapter with four final words:

Goodbye to all that.

  

 

The Worry that We Don’t Worry About

In my effort to do some of my English earlier today, I actually read my assigned pages. The literature was about the very beginning of America, and then how religion played its part in the beginnings. What I read explained Realism, Deism, etc. Seemed like what I typically already knew from previous history classes. But what came to me then was unforseen. It is something we should be worried about.

Back in the day, religion was THE most important thing to the lives of nearly all the people in the world. So important that they brought it into their government, fought over it, killed over it, and so much more. As I was reading how the puritans had such strong beliefs in their God, and their religion, I began to see the difference in the “now”. My mind started comparing Seventh Day Adventists to Puritans. Puritans felt so strongly about their religion that they began to do good, build schools to teach their relgions, and do nothing that would cause them to sin. So, they lived in the simplicity of life, because their beliefs meant so much to them. They sacrifced everything, they lived their life according to their beliefs. Their life revolved around their religion.

When that hit me, I realized that most of the Christians I know…Make their religion and beliefs revolve around their life. They go to church when they want or feel like it, we live our religion according to our life. I know I do, at least. If I have the time, I’ll read the Bible, I’ll go to church. But if I don’t, I usually neglect to follow true to my religion and beliefs. Thus being, we live our religion according to our life.

Could it be that through the years, we have fallen short…We have lost the meaning in religion? Could it be that its importance in the beginning has now been lost or cut short because of the complexity of our lives? Why is it that centuries ago, people were sacrificing, changing their ways, accepting the death penalty for their beliefs,  all in the name of their religion? And…What about today?

 

Would you take a bullet to the head for your God? Would you give up your cell phone, computer, car, or other electronic if it meant living a better life, one that God would want? I’m not blaming anyone. But I do know that I wouldn’t want to sacrifce like folks did years ago. I know that I’d be a little shaky if I had a gun pointed to my head, and I also know that I’m not as true to my religion as I should me.

But guys…if people years ago who lived in shacks, ate bark, roots, rubbed two animal bones together to eat the dust it made, along with deer droppings and other unmentionable things…If they were able to still hold true to their religion with the little bit of a home and food they had…Then I think that we, with our computers, phones, cars, cameras, money, family, animals, restraunts and so much  more…Can give God a little more than were giving now. Make it one of your worry’s…or you’ll be missing out on something big in the end.

“If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say anything at all.”

Doesn’t everyone hate those nights where you know your tired but you also know that if you go to bed you’ll just lay there…..and lay there…..and lay there……and …well, you’ll just lay there. That’s how I’m feeling right now. Actually I might be able to sleep. I’m yawning like crazy.

Well lets see…Today I did my senior pics. I had a feeling it would be a sucky day. You know how in the morning you wake up and you can just feel inside you how the day’s gonna go? Well, it was. It was so hot out, and it was cloudy, which looks grubby in pictures. Then later the sun was constantly in my face which also makes it hard to take a nice picture. Then there’s the embarrassing part. Where people are driving and walking buy just looking at you. And you know their thinking “What the..?”. I mean who takes pictures of them self in the same location in three different outfits in the freaking hot sun. I felt dumb and just wanted to get it over with. I think only a few will turn out decent. This day just wasn’t a good one.

So then I came back after hours of that and took a shower and got the sweat off me. Oh my clothes were so wet it was nasty. I can only imagine how wet I look in my pictures. Ugh. And now I’m going to vent:

I then watched a “Remembering Michael Jackson” movie. It was really good. The entire thing was one guy interviewing him. And it wasn’t the usual crappy kind either. This guy was  basically his friend. He traveled with Mike, stayed with him, shopped with him. It was pretty cool. After watching it my view on Michael changed completely. I never really payed attention to him until I heard about this whole “Michael Jackson died” thing. At first I thought it was a joke. I got a text message saying “Michael Jackson died. And since he was 99 percent plastic, they’re going to melt him into Lego’s so he can still play with little boys.” So I thought it was a joke because that’s all anyone ever says about him. They always joked and made fun of him. I had heard about that boy that claimed he did some sexual stuff to him, and between the news bashing him and all the jokes being sent on text messaging and the Internet, it was typical for me to think his death was another joke. Then I seen it again on facebook, so I looked it up on the Internet. Sure enough, he was dead. I didn’t really care. I was like, oh that sucks. And that was it.

But my grandma, which I never knew, really likes him. She started watching all these shows that are telling about his life. Every show talking about some flaw he had. His drug problem, the kids and that wonderland…All they had to say were bad things. And it goes back to that “if you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all” quote. But of course, paparazzi’s and the news’s anchors don’t follow by that. My grandma told me different things, saying he wasn’t that bad. I began to get so confused I didn’t know whether to like this freak of a guy or not. After seeing a ton of shows over his life and remembrance stuff, I came across this movie “Remembering Michael”.

And for once, for freaking ONCE, this guy who was interviewing him had more to say than all the bad stuff. This guy brought out a Michael that no one else would tell about. Michael was just like every one of us. He had his favorite things, his hobbies, and when he told about his childhood, from deep in my heart I knew that feeling. For once, I felt like I knew Michael. I understood him. I seen something and understood something that no one else in the world wanted to see or hear. Michael loved to climb trees, he liked to throw water balloons, he loved video games. He loved to shop, he loved children, and most importantly…he never wanted to grow up. His father forced him to grow up when he was young. Beating him and his brothers when they sang a wrong note, never letting them play. Everyday they sang and sang. Michael became an adult before he ever hit the double digits.

 So when he did grow up, Michael built Wonderland. Michael bought video games, he did all these things he never got to when he was little. And even more importantly, he built Wonderland so all the other kids in the world would have a chance at childhood. And when no body’s there, Micheal is a kid himself. This interviewer showed how Michael was a kid at heart. A real, hurt, kid at heart. Yes he had his flaws, yes he was troubled. But if you were abused your whole childhood like he was, you would have flaws to. Everyone has flaws. And I’m tired of society only pointing them out. Why do you never hear about the good stuff people do?

Why, since Michael’s death, have you only heard about his drug addiction? What about the millions of dollars he gave to dying kids, kids with cancer, poor kids who would’ve never got to ride a carousel without him. No, I’m not saying we should look past his flaws.

 Yes, Michael did do wrong in his life. That’s reality. But actuality is, everyone does wrong. That doesn’t mean we have to ponder upon it. That doesn’t make it right.